Nairobi by Candlelight.
Forget about Sabina Joy, let me take you on another tour of the city, Nairobi's Huruma estate has this joint known as "KWA MBUTHIA" this is where everything is paid in cash and in KIND. Here the police receive their dues in 3 ways,cash money,a 'blows' (don't ask me about job)and hot steamy night stand and at times the three are offered at once. The traders here are jovial light skinned and endowed in both the relevant and irrelevant places. They pay their taxes via the thighs and also run their own union chaired by "Mbuthia Bar and Restaurant manager"
When I first received my pay from a production company a few years ago I was spoilt for choice, here I was,a mere country boy who had arrived in the city with tall dreams,I had conquered the Silver screen or so I believed. After months of toil and working as an extra cast here and there my good friend and Mentor Jack gave me a link to one of the high flying TV series by then(name withheld ).
Four weeks later and I was at the accounts sorting out my pay, I was given my little perks and I set off to look for my guy Gaddafi. I found him enjoying some illegal merchandise in mathare area Four. I showed him a 1000Ksh note and he quickly got excited he looked at me and said "mkubwa leo nataka zenye ziko na alama ya kebs " I looked at him smiled and said "sawa raia" We boarded the next matatu and headed for South B to pick our friend Eric alias Engineer. He took us to some eatery near KEWI and after eating ugali cooked by a real Luhya man we headed back to town. "The easiest way to finish a drunkard is not to disclose your ability " those words from drinking guru Rastogi was my ace. We stormed Bettyz and Two mzingas of KC (Kenya Cane) later,the engineer had become Floyd Mayweather in the club taking a waitress for Pacquiao. We were subsequently thrown out of the establishment and banned for 6 months or so they said.
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Those of you that have lived in the city will tell you that being under 25yrs is a nightmare when you want to club in town or even intend to 'climb for less. I was barely 20yrs by then,the other challenge was the swollen Jaw of the engineer and our staggering walks... after a very humiliating and unsuccessful hunt for a club Gadaffi came up with an idea,it was decided that we head to Huruma and drown a few cupfuls of Keg then crash at Gadaffi's place in pangani. We boarded one of those unroadworthy matatus and paid for the empty seats destination "Kwa Mbuthia" If you think you have seen hawkers,you wait until you meet the traders of kwa mbuthia.
At around 2am the place was buzzing with activity, the flesh hawkers were vending their merchandise with a very dorminant mount Kenya accent. We entered the keg den and ooooh boy,the jugs kept flowing until the engineer returned to his mayweather ways.
We quickly settled the bill of 470 shillings at around 3am and exited the bar.
Now at 4 am those traders of the flesh that have not secured a client negotiate with a tone of panic,they stick to the rule of "the customer is always right" and they do it with vigour.
"Customer nitafanya 50 Bob" one of them shouted.
The engineer became sober immediately and countered the offer.
"30 Bob ama ukae "
Desperate times call for desparate measures. After deliberations and consultations we agreed on a wholesale price of 80 shillings for a Marathon session lasting up to 7am. With our three victims secured we paid for rooms in a nearby establishment thanking the gods of fertility for the day. At 7 am the ladies had somehow co ordinated via telepathy and started demanding for their dues. I discovered that the least denomination I had was 500 Bob and the girls had no change. Gadaffi insisted that they cannot be trusted with "our change" at that moment I remembered the 300 Bob lying in my mpesa. We took the number of their lead negotiator and wired the money. She confirmed receipt of the dues and we departed.
But just as we neared the bus stop,Engineer got another Idea. He turned to me and said
 |
| we caught a glimpse of the three traders stranded at an MPESA kiosk. |
He grabbed my phone called the Safaricom customer care and initiated the MPESA reversal. 20minutes later the money was reversed. We boarded a mat aboard as it sped off,we caught a glimpse of the three traders stranded at an MPESA kiosk. Bye bye Mbuthia. Adios, we shouted!
You Can Read Another Article From this Writer here
How i enjoyed the thrills of a wet dream on a Sunday morning. I blessed the day and made it holy.
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