It has been a terrific weekend with the boys and I know I will be justified in concluding that the girls had fun. Something is itching me and as usual I will put it straight to you. I will call them the 5 jungle rules of my crib.1. Learn to humble like your grandma. Well am avoiding asking you to learn from your mama,she might be an avid supporter and subscriber of the doctrines being peddled around by the "Kilimani Mother's "2. My smelly feet. It is part of me,recycling a pair of socks is part of my nature especially that black pair. When I do it while you are home, just know you have failed.3. Chamas and prayer session. If I picked you from the church pulpit I might allow you invite that women team to our home once in a while, Monday afternoon if you can manage. Meanwhile those prayer warriors and chama fellows should meet you at the local vegetable kiosk.4. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Don't ask me where that lipstick on my shirt came from or where I got that cut from. Cook me solid ugali and go to bed. Don't cook those things you watch on Afro sinema "Okeke bread and Jolof rice"5. Don't drink like your uncles. I am the only one allowed to drink. You should not smoke and drink like Keroche breweries and BAT are family heirlooms. NB I will not take you for honeymoon in Paris, forget about shopping in Dubai, dare not dream about watching James Ingram at the indoor arena in Casablanca. I want to spend my money enjoying the fish at Dunga beach kisumu, smoke a cigar with the Cubans, go to THIGHLAND with Rihanna and then be bankrupt and as a loyal wife,you will bail me out and I shall tell you of my escapades. The late night rendezvous with JLO