But if you happen to have been lucky enough and laid one of these Nairobians in the recent passed...then here is what to do right in bed before your caged bird go tango unchained.
Nairobi woman loves money...yes especially when it comes from a not so filthy rich man. They love quick cash and would want to spoil it on unnecessary shopping list unlike Kisumu women who spoil it in Chama's and merry go rounds in Manyata (why do all chama-meetings in Kisumu take place in Obunga and Nyalenda?)....
Nairobi woman wants to spoil hers at River Road looking for some Vera Sidika cream for the ''pwuuaffs' and the 'buuumsss' especially if they were not blessed in those extra-irrelevant places.(I don't fancy booty big or small we just roll and fit) Give Nairobi woman some petty cash like say Ksh1000 Only and you have a sure way down her tight skirt.(the skirts are sent to tailor to make them tight so they would show off some dormant volcano ready to erupt)She will walk to Ngara on high-heels if she is from Umoja or Stiletos if she stays somewehere in Ongwaro aka ParkLands or wages if she is a Makongeni dweller).You will be surprised from just one evening walk in Ngara she will come back home with 5 bags of girl stuff and skimpy clothes you wonder how they will put on worth Ksh1000. Not even a modern day man's socks would cost 1K.Nairobi women are lucky...Ngara dresses them better and cheaper than Mr Price.
Nairobi woman likes a kissing that falls on her body like rainfall in a windy storm. She want to be cuddled and called all pet names. She wants you to adopt new pet name ''BooBooKitty'' replacing the old cupcake,sugar-loaf,Sandal-Socks and morning poud pet names.She want something new. A man who would lick her feet and suck her toes like Kenya Cinema Ice Cream.Do that and you have your way up her tight Ngara import skirt too.
Ladies love dogs. So be her dog.Don't waste time driving her to Ngong' Race course those horses are a turn off or lucky if you happen to have been there during the motor bike races that just pretty boring too. Take her to Impala Grounds when Mean Machines takes on The Strathmore Chicken-Chests and watch her eyes suffocate with thirst for the 6 packs running with oval shaped balls and dropping dead bananas on each others body. Ladies love to watch men touch and grab AND fall on each other like packs of a Tsavo kill. That's the whole truth behind this fallacy cheap talk that all Nai ladies love rugby. They don't love rugby...btwe....they love rough turn on.SO take it on.Take her to Impala then later join us at Brew Bestro thanks God its just Ksh.20 via City Bus from Impala and thank us with jug of hot muratina each.
Use these tips she will be like a dog chained on your hands for a walk. Go to Karen and see how dogs are taken for evening walk and compare you and her being just that.
You are a dog by the time you are reading this article