Why all Luos must dump SuperLoaf and other breads for GOR MAHIA Bread.

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I am not Miguna Miguna or some other lousy fake Luo Onyango Oloo and i don't want to be associated either by the above  two principles so i will preserve my little pride and add vowel (i) to  Luo. Now call me iLuo...that way i feel so different from the crop of these two neanderthals and denisovans.Though that's a whole blog for another week.
I have no intentions to start planning on disobeying baba (Considering the fact that you know there is only one Baba in Kenya). Yesterday i saw it on TV and on a Facebook blog i follow so close as an iLuo that Baba had fully endorsed  a new bread for us. Wow...my mind drifted way back to the Pharaoh's days when all Luos were slave to the Egyptian gods and goddess and one stammering Moses who stammers a lot like Raila had to cross our forefathers to Canaan via Red Sea before we could later migrate to Sudan then Got Ramogi in Bondo. Like our Raila of the day  Moses gave the Israelite manna and honey...baba has given as bread. The Gor Mahia Bread. In short 
''An akia pingo BABA. Makati ma baba owacho ni acham ema abiro chamo .....anyalo chame kata Breakfast, Lunch and dinner. Anyalo bang'e anytime ......anywhere kaka saa sudo.Gima Baba oneno e makati no an ok anyal neno kenda.'' Jarunda
Do not ask me to translate.

Gor Mahia Bread
This bread supplies 70% nutrients  more than super-loaf.Sun-Blest or any other bread. These significant portions of nutrients are for  excellent growth. Luo man must continue to be Africa's only T.D.H (Tall Dark and Handsome) Species left in the planet...if you must entertain the little short Wadhoreros and Nyerians (humble term for dwarfs) you must eat this bread.Gor Mahia bread. This bread is  a source of proteins,vitamins,mineral,fiber, and complex carbohydrates. Did i say complex carbohydrates? Yes with this bread all Luo men must have the complex energy on the waist,kapedo, and relevant places of the olelenkus during and after relevamt duty of defending 'wasteget'.Don't chew mkhombero like a Kakamega goat looking for medication to cure erectile failures. This bread has come so handy in matters 'kapedo'.
It has low fat and cholesterol free-if your wife has protruding fats on the stomach and lower abdomen that you fail to notice her waist from her 'buuuuummmmssss' then this bread will be the best cure for your worries.Stop sending her 'Sidika' photos all the time on what-sap...send her the loaf and all your worries bolt unchained.
It has minerals containing calcium,phosphorous,potassium,iron,magnesium and sodium which will decolor you teeth and make them as white as cotton. Luos don't have yellow teeth why do you want to mix our breeds...so this bread has minerals to make sure your teeth must shine as Lupita's. We have standards my friend.
If your wife has visited Kanyari in the recent Sundays while you went to support Gor Mahia at Tok Komwanda De Stadia,this bread will be able to do a quick litmus test in her. Just one bite and all her white teeth will turn purple i she has ever visited Kanyari or any other 'mganga Kutoka Tanzania' The Gor Mahia super loaf will make sure Luo women don't play on there husbands...for a long time we have been seeking ways to make her loyal. This bread will make your wife sing and dance to the tunes  that shall only be played with your kapedo....no other kapedo shall see the doors of her thighs.
Vitamins such as thiamine B1 and riboflavin B2 will make sure your kids perform better in class. Your Luo kid will and must only know that Kenya's  first president was and is still Jaramogi Oginga...they must know that Raila was Kenya president in 2007 and continues to be until death do as part..
Buy the Gor Mahia Bread today...a  bread bread with intel.